This is scary. I'm not gonna lie. Not "run up the stairs because there's probably a monster chasing you" scary or "I just saw something move in the dark" scary. A different kind of scary. The kind of scary that is crippling. The kind of scary that stops you dead in your tracks and whispers in your ear, "You're not good enough. You're a fraud. Someone's going to find out and then you'll be done for." I feel it. You probably feel it. I think we all feel it at some point and some of us feel it more strongly than others. On today's pod, with the help of special guest Angela Gunder, we're talking about the "F" word: fear. (Intro) Halloween is almost upon us and that means everything is pumpkin-flavored and haunted. At least the second part in our house, anyway. I *love* Halloween. I *love* scary movies, scary stories, skeleton decorations and creepy paintings. It's really our aesthetic in our home: half industrial, half haunted antique store. It works for us. We're not quite at the Ed and Lorraine Warren level but we're working on it. Anyway, it's about this time of the year that I like to think about and talk about the things that scare us and, basically, why that is. I want folks to know that if they feel this way, it's okay. They're not alone. Heck, one of the reasons I began this pod in the first place was to get over those feelings of impostor phenomenon and inadequecy that I felt after I graduated and really began my career. I had just finished my PhD in a whirlwind of researching and writing and whatnot and, to be honest, it was terrifying. You're not alone if you feel that way no matter what degree you're working on or what project you're hammering away at. In fact, just to drive that feeling home, I asked my good friend Angela Gunder, the Director of Digital Learning here at the University of Arizona, who you most likely remember from a previous episode, to talk a little bit about her own experience as she approaches the finale of her doctoral degree. (Angela's comments) See? It's not just you. A couple years ago I wrote a little piece on my blog about expertise and being quote-unquote "out there." I was fascinated and terrified simultaneously by the idea that we, as workers in the "knowledge economy" for lack of a better term (basically folks like us, teachers, students, researchers, experts, et cetera), much like creatives, are in the business of puting forth ideas in the form of arguments and what-have-you that then go on to have a life of their own. And while we typically would really like to turn that into a dialog and discuss those ideas, very often once they leave us, they're just... out there. They're delivered to you or you find them, engage with them, and then you do the same with your own ideas. And they leave *you*. I mean, take this podcast for example. I know you're listening to this and, because of that fact, you're basically on one side of a dialog but... your part of it is only happening in your head (unless you're talking back to this recording and, you do you, I guess). We're having a discussion in some ways but I'm not hearing your side of things. Of course, I always say at the end of the episode, "I'd love to hear from you," and that's absolutely true but, to be honest, it doesn't happen all that often. And that's fine, podcasts and media like this are typically consumed and not necessarily turned into convesations. But, I still know that you've got that other half of the discussion in your head and I'll probably never know what it is. I'll never know your response to what I just said. Do you basically agree? Do you vehemently disagree? Are you nodding and smirking or shaking your head and pursing your lips? Or is this just on in the background while you get on with other things? See, I dont know. I wish I did. But the idea at the center of that: that I'm not there to, more or less, "defend" my claims that you're listening to or reading or watching really bothers me. And I understand it's part of the form, it's how things work, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. And I think that that feeling, that knowledge of the fact that once you put something out there, it's beyond your control... I think that scares a lot of people. I think folks are afraid that once their thoughts or work is out in the wild, that someone more knowledgeable than them is going to find it, pick it apart, and announce to the world that it's rubbish. That you, claiming to know what you're talking about, are a phony. And they have the receipts to prove it. That... that is called "impostor phenomenon." You've probably heard it called "imposter syndrome" but that term is a bit outdated. But that feeling... is perfectly normal. I have it. Some of the most successful, brilliant people I know have it. You might even have it. So know that you're not alone and, also, that you're actually just fine. There are always going to be people out there that want to tear you down simply because they can or because it makes them feel better about themselves or because the only way they can see to get ahead is to step on you along the way. The technical term for those people is "assholes." And you don't need to devote any time to them. And you certainly shouldn't do it to yourself. I'll be facilitating a session at the upcoming OLC Accelerate conference on impostor phenomenon with another friend and colleague, Tina Rettler-Pagel, who you also may remember from a previous episode, so I don't want to go *too* much into it today. Perhaps I'll do another episode as a post-mortem on the session for folks. So, please know that it's okay to be afraid. You don't have to be, believe me, but if you are... it just means you care. And if you're not, you also probably care. The point is: we all navigate these waters in different ways but we need each other to stay afloat. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Ghost Adventures marathon to watch. (Outro) Once again, thank you for listening to this little podcast-thing of mine. If you found it entertaining or informative or useful, please do subscribe and rate it on the podcatcher of your choice, whether that's iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify, or however you listen. And, as usual, I'd love to hear from you. You can find me on Twitter at newprofcast. Show notes, transcripts, and more can be found on the website at thenewprofessor.com. Until next time.